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2004-12-04 - 12:37 a.m.Volcanocam Comment: �This is so strange to me, I mean, to feel the bond you feel for your mother... I respect it, admire it, yet relate to it only from afar, as a stranger watching, as an alien observing, listening, hearing, but with no frame of reference for the experience of feeling someone gave me life, that someone is flesh and blood within me, part of me... being without biological family is a very large separation from most of society... adding to my sense of aloneness... this aspect of my life I have accepted long ago, so the sadness� of not feeling connected is not as deep as other sadness... and so I tilt my head with wonder and acceptance of my experience and observe some more... and thank you for relating your experience so well.� She is there inside you babe, she made you and you made her. Your sadness is her sadness and her sadness is yours. You are always each other intertwined by that life giving force that can be denied but never destroyed. No Mother gives up her child without pain and sorrow, she left you where you would be found instantly; an act of great love. She felt she had to do what was best for you in HER mind and heart, with what ever grave circumstances that caused her to give you up. She felt she was doing what was best for you at that moment in time; she left you where you would be found... a hospital. She will always be there inside you. Look at yourself in a mirror, you are looking at your Mother in your eyes. Your eyes are hers. Stare into her eyes, your eyes... then close them and remember. The Love you carry in your heart no matter what came from somewhere, I bet it came from Her, your Mother. Remember Babe and finally be at peace. Thank you, I love you and a big hug to you.
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