Well here I am at my new home…. It’s a little weird, this PC, but I think I can a just eh? My thoughts and prayers go out to all those now being greeted rather poorly
By Mother Nature right now… be safe, be warm, it will all be over with soon.

My move went very well and my room is just about all set up! Like it and I have been sleeping real well. Had a bunch of fun playing games with Ellen & Bridget last nigh; we got real silly and sleepy; it was a big weekend for all. I told Bridget that Merlin was in a better place now. . . “The City Dump. . . but he’s in a real pretty box!” Even Bridget started laughing. I don’t know why I said that; like I said we got real silly! You should have seen the reaction in group when I told them, as we started on grief again this week.

Speaking of group. . . I felt rather strange after. I guess like the odd-man-out sort of thing. I think this one may have been good-buy and I said nothing. Got a call into group leader, what a great lady she is. Honor to know her too. Some times you just feel it’s time to walk on and see who follows and see where the road ahead goes. There are people I would really like to keep in my life, but not sure they will come along…. Depression and other things along that line tend to make people more inside them selves, not as social as they use to be or will become when the storm passes in the mind. Hey I totally understand that, I was there for about 2 and a half years. There really are some wonderful people in my group and it has been an honor watching them grow and change and share and help. They have all helped me in one way or another and I have enjoyed blooming with them and blooming in front of them.

I remember my first group session, God I was scared, shaking, wanting to bolt out the door. . . wow how much I have grown and changed since then. Now it is sad but it’s time to go onward and out ward from there, I mean that was the purpose of the last 3 years now wasn’t it. . . to be a part of life again, to be a willing participant of all the joy and wonder, sadness and pain that life gives us when we live life being true to ourselves. I hear the gate closing once again; so many times it has closed recently and I have learned to open another and walk through un-afraid. How about that, I’m not a scared little girl anymore.

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