I am here to tell you that finally after all most 2 years at the Behavioral center....... I am no longer listed as: “high risk to harm self,” “difficult,” nor “ high managed client!” Rock on! Now this doesn’t mean I am off the leash.... it just got a lot longer! I still have to go to group, which I like, I still have to see Dr. McDavid, just not as often; that’s a little of a bummer cause I really like him and he is getting to be real fun and our sessions are kick ass! Oh well I will deal with it and spread my little wings and fly around away from the nest a little.

It really hit me after group Monday as I had told them that after a week from hell I had no destructive thoughts at all, nor did I think about abusing the pain pills, nor killing my husband. I got home and cried when It really hit me.... the thoughts have been a part of my mind so long and they didn’t happen and I had a good happy cry! I cried on the way home after seeing Dr. McDavid too.... Finally all the hard work and all the pain I have been going through is hitting pay dirt. I feel way stronger, I am making plans for the future, I use the tools everyone has so lovingly been teaching me. I am so grateful to Michael, Christine, and Dr. McDavid...Josh, they can’t imagine how grateful I feel that they all have hung in their with me and bent over backwards and went out of their way to help me. They have given me the greatest gift.... my life back and the greatest gift I can give them is to keep moving forward no matter what and enjoy my life; that is what I intend to do!

You know I really am blessed.... In the last year so much love has come my way through so many wonderful people, even here at diaryland, and all my mom’s friends helping me through her death in amazing and unexpected ways, and all the people at the behavioral center, my close and dear friends Maxx, Ellen, Bridget, Ann, Tommy, Ric, even my close pen pals..... I couldn’t have done it alone and without them even though I thought for a long time that I could. It is very humbling how much love and caring and friendship has come my way; and I am so grateful that on that dark day some one or some thing made me come out of that huge dissociation attack before my finger pulled the trigger on the gun I had put against my head... so damn grateful that their are no words to express it.

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