I know I should be asleep due to the fact that Miss Bridget got us all up at 6 am Christmas morning. Well first we had a chat at 4 am! It hardly seemed like I had gotten back to sleep and their she was again.... “Auntie Missa it’s 6, and Santa came, and I can get up now!” All the adults moaned and stumbled out to watch the child explore what Santa had lovingly left for all of us; pressing the button on the coffee pot first.

We had a wonderful Christmas here in the Pacific Northwest. Lots of family and friends have been dropping by all week. Lot’s of phone calls today and lot’s of family came.... even Bridget’s Daddy, Peter. Love, laughter, and fun filled the house and warmed are hearts. Mother in law was feeling well and enjoyed herself. Maxx who has been sick all week felt good enough to join us, Ellen’s cold that she is trying to get held off another day, my older brother called and was sober and had good news, and I felt good; real good and blessed.

I did well knowing how much my Mother loved Christmas and in knowing that this year she would not be present. Some of her friends came by this week with gifts for me, I managed well with it all. There was also wonderful stories from people about my Mom in Christmas card that were delivered to my door. I felt like cooking and baking for the day.... I didn’t want it to go away. I didn’t want to hide nor did I have anxiety or panic.... I enjoyed the day and let the child who was bouncing off the walls infect me with her excitement and joy.

On the bed, here in my room, the bed that my great Grandfather made for my great Grandmother in 1900 when they were married, the bed my mother slept in till she died sits a winter “Stitch” from the Disney Store. I think this is the most wonderful present I got. It was picked out and paid for by the most precious gift God has given me. This was done with her own money saved from chores and her own beautiful heart filled with love. I think of my Mother who I put under the Christmas tree... she gave me the gift of heart..... she is always with me and I now will keep giving her gift away to those who cross my path and to the child, Miss Bridget, because that is what I was put here to do, and that is what I want to do. No fear anymore.... grateful and humble for all that I have and receive.... so much love among the ashes. Yes George, it is a wonderful life!

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